Leave me alone

I've been on a rampage all day.

Man, when tempers fray, I guess I'm not exactly dependable. In fact, I'm never dependable. I hate it when others - anyone - rely on me. The excessive ones especially. I run, as far away as I can, putting in distance distance and more distance.

But how do I run, when it's my parents? I don't understand why they love relying on me. I hate it. I hate how they have to come to me about every single thing, how they call me incessantly, how they suddenly go into verbal diarrhea mode once they see me - and how they go on for ages even when I am non-responsive. I hate especially how my father enjoys waking me up to taste the food he cooks or to just make time for him.

It's selfish, I know. They just want to be heard; they are just lonely. Just because I do try to set aside time for them, to listen to them, doesn't mean I want to do it all the time. There are times that I really just want to be left alone.

And today's one.

Couple that with having to repeat myself time and again, first with some customer, then with my father, THEN with my ma.. I was ready to simply smash the phone. I miss the days when I lived without a phone.