I feel handicapped. It's like a defect, my inability. To be unable to keep my feelings - esp negative ones like taking offense when I shouldn't - to myself and off my face. I hate that I'm like an open book, read by just about anyone. I hate to be trying my best to hide all emotions only to have others picking up on what I am really feeling. It's such a blatant failure for someone who has tried so hard.
WHY LIKE THAT!
damnitdamnitdamnit.
Sometimes I really wish I was more like qian.
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